I think this afternoon I must’ve started the hormonal crash from how I stopped all of the meds (estrogen patches and progesterone) yesterday morning. Everything feels bleak, I feel incapable, and like nothing will ever turn out well again.
The doctor asked about doing a FET cycle pretty much immediately after he told me the beta was negative. My gut instinct right now is to protect my remaining two embryos by keeping them as far from my uterus as possible. Or at least not put both in at the same time.
Right now I’m thinking that I don’t want to do the type of medicated cycle that my clinic does (with lupron, estrogen, etc), I’m guessing that all the drugs made my endometrium out of phase with the embryos and that’s why they didn’t implant for the fresh transfer.
Medicated FET have increase post-term delivery and C-section rate (post-term is riskier for the baby) – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28108841
Femara-cycles for FET seem to have good odds – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28398491
Natural cycle appears to have the best outcome in this paper – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27798046
Modified Natural cycle seems to offer advantages – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27549760
endometrium scratching may help with implantation failure – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25064410
I’ll probably edit this and add more later.
So I had even more vivid dreams last night. I dreamed I was visiting my parents (something I haven’t done in like 10+ years), and my period came pretty explosively as soon as I sat down on a toilet, so I didn’t need to bother with a beta test. Like, this was crazy vivid, I woke up to check to make sure I wasn’t suddenly heavily bleeding.
Then the cats woke me up and it took a while to wrangle them to the far-away bathroom.
Then I dreamed that I was starting a new internship/training, as a technologist at a hospital (not sure what kind, I just know that they wanted me to work on a machine that did something to vials of blood). Also I was house-sitting for my parents, some bums just walked in and demanded goda (I think that’s how it’s spelled in my dream world, lol) cheese, which of course my parents didn’t have. I wanted to leave to go get my beta. They wouldn’t let me just leave in the middle of a shift, I made some feeble cries about needing a beta that were mostly unheard. I realized that this job wasn’t anything that paid better than my software developer job, I didn’t enjoy the work any more than my current job, so I quit. My parents showed up, just to chide me for quitting a job, and then my supervisor of the job I had just quit began following me around with someone else’s ultrasound (that had a football stadium drawn on it for some reason), asking if it was what I wanted, and I was like “no, I just want to get my beta over with.”
So, basically my weird dreams were on overdrive last night.
I’ll update when I get my beta results, I’m heavily expecting it to be negative.
So, 2 blasts were transferred, 2 frozen, on Sunday (well, 1 of the 2 was frozen on Monday). I’m 4 days out and looking forward to peeing on things. Also- am I supposed to be feeling better from the egg retrieval yet? Because I felt worse yesterday than the day before (lots of stomach pains, bloated to the point where I am unbuttoning my fat jeans when I was seated). The progesterone has me exhausted all the time and having vivid dreams if I’m able to get enough sleep.
Anyway, my beta is on the 23rd. Nothing to report yet. I’d really like to start peeing on things, but I also don’t want to know yet if it didn’t work (not that I could conclusively at this point, but still).
So I had 2 grade 2B blasts transferred today. a 3B and if it develops tomorrow morula, will be frozen (edit: update, the morula became a 3B and was frozen). I had hoped for three to be frozen, but 2 is close enough.
Beta will be on the 23rd.
I’m exhausted, not sure if it’s the Valium, or just all the excitement this morning.
So now I have 5-6 normal embryo as of day 3. I’m hoping they’re all fighters who make it to tomorrow (and freezing if not transferred – we’re going to transfer two). I was really hoping for more surviving this long.
So they collected 20 eggs. It turns out that 17 were mature and of those 14 fertilized (this is without ICSI), and 12 are looking mostly good, 2 are poor and one is bad. They’re going to do a check but not update me tomorrow and will call me Saturday with the time for the embryo transfer.
Yes, on Mother’s Day, no pressure little embryos.
So, they got 20 follicles, we’ll find out more Thursday (how many mature, how many fertilized), and we’ll get another call on Saturday to set up the transfer. I think I handled it like a champ, Heather and the nurse had to tell me to lie back down and that I couldn’t eat more a few times after I woke back up.
Anyway, I feel like another nap now.
I’m triggering at 12:30 am “tonight” (technically it’s tomorrow very early morning), and retrieval is Tuesday. I’ve been told to eat a lot of protein, and I have been, I’m very sick of meat and eggs now.
I hope OHSS won’t be a concern, nobody’s told me my estrogen levels at any point in this process and the ultrasound tech didn’t even tell me how many follicles I had today (the nurse told me I have 8 mature ones, I have at least five that are 20 mm+, they all grew crazy fast overnight). Not super happy about that but, my ovaries hurt, so I have a hard time remaining angry, but I may call them tomorrow, just to be sure. I don’t like surprises.
For those of you who’ve done IVF before: Any advice for the retrieval? Dos or don’t you wish someone had told you?