Three Things…

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– I think that we are making baby steps towards a happy future. Last night it sounded like my wife is getting more and more empathetic (empathy is very difficult during depression), and she is hopeful which is great. She still not ready to begin discussing narratives for what we want in the future. I’m still trying to navigate my passivity. I had idealized my grandfather when I was growing up, because he’d never get super mad and say hurtful things, now I think he was very passive, possibly too passive. I think my passivity isn’t great, but I don’t want to lose any of the good parts of it (certainty that I’m not going to do anything mean).

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– I keep thinking of things I missed from my baby rabies post. I also had a dream a little before my grandmother died where Latte and I were going to a concert and our son was the conductor. I felt that I needed to meet him. I am secretly really girlie and have felt that way (wanting-to-meet) people form my dreams before. I just feel like someone’s missing at the table for dinner every night. Is this a common feeling?

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– I’m really annoyed at the coverage of the shooter from the Navy Yard. Most mentally ill people aren’t a threat to healthy people. Most people who hear voices are more likely to be killed by someone than to kill someone. My mother in law is mentally ill, has been ever since her twenties. She hears voices. She is unable to work because it’s too straining on her health. She isn’t a threat to anyone but my blood pressure (she loves to call constantly but often has little to say). 

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About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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