Not such a little family anymore and the mother-in-law

So, we added a couple (temporary) members to the family yesterday. Our BFF MtnDew’s apartment mangers found out about his cats (turns out, repairmen can be little snitches when their feelings are hurt and asking them to do their job properly hurts their feelings). The policy is to charge all pet owners a non-refundable deposit for any pets. MtnDew has one cat (Fatso) and is fostering another (Cuddles) for a friend who took a job in Singapore. I see the point in pet deposits, I really do. Dogs especially can jack up a lot (go to dog shaming). Cats can destroy mini blinds. What I don’t see is making it non-refundable.

Some pets just don’t cause damage. I mean they all can, but a good number of them don’t. Boy Cat destroyed a number of mini-blinds back at First Apartment, but you know what? We bought new ones to replace them. It wasn’t that expensive. Also, we’ve avoided it everywhere since by just not using them.  Puppy interestingly enough hasn’t done any damage to the house’s infrastructure. Just to my wife’s shoes.

Anyway, we have Fatso and Cuddles now, they’re both terrified of everything/one and are hiding upstairs growling every time they see one of our cats. I don’t think they’ve moved more than a couple feet since they were let out of their carriers. I think they’d wet themselves if they ran into the puppy. I  believe neither have met a dog of her size (MtnDew and his toxic Ex had a pug and a dachshund) . 

In other news, nobody can hurt you quite like a mother can. Latte had invited her mother to visit us in our house. Well, less invited, and more explained how she feels that her mother’s lack of efforts to come see us make her feel unloved. Latte’s mother has severe mental illnesses. She is bipolar and is schizophrenic. Not the kinds of those diseases where you just need to take a couple pills and life is peachy, no, the kind where she’s been on every medicine under the sun and still has auditory hallucinations, despite her kidneys and liver being shot from all the medication. 

Latte believes her mother is lazy and opportunistic. From everything I know, her mother had a really rough life, and has never and will never be the sort of mother people imagine when they hear that term. Latte and her brother were put in kinship care after her father passed away because her mother was unable to do anything beyond neglect them. The meds she was on in those days had her sleeping all day. When I jokingly refer to my wife’s childhood self as a “feral child” I’m only half-joking based on what I’ve heard about the situation. 

Her mother’s ability to care for her children didn’t get better with time. Latte was aware at too young of an age that her mother was occasionally suffering from suicidal ideation. She rejected the Catholic Church after learning their stance on suicide. When I met Latte, she did not know if her mother was alive or dead, she had cut her out of her life after her mother having numerous abusive addicted boyfriends. Early in our relationship I remember her getting a call from mother and it was a very big deal.

Now Latte’s mother is doing better. She has a fiance who is sober, works, and seems to treat her well, or at least isn’t abusive (although she likes to complain about him anyway). I mean, he is a hoarder and has no concept of proper hygiene and apparently their relationship is platonic, but she seems happy enough living with him and planning a wedding that may or may not happen. Latte’s mother isn’t good with follow through.  

Anyway, Latte’s mother had been planning on coming to visit us in October, she made it sound like she had bought tickets and everything. Last night she called to say that she changed her mind because of a medical issue. It’s not a new medical issue, or really one that can’t be taken care of with stuff available over the counter, but she doesn’t want to spend the money to, and the final solution involves a surgery, which her doctors tell her she must give up caffeine for first. She’s not willing to do that, so she’s been basically making herself home-bound. 

This upsets Latte a lot. Latte would love to see her mother working part-time, doing something with her life. I’m not sure how feasible Latte’s dreams for her mother are. Her mom’s doctors don’t think she has the mental health to work more than ~8 hrs/week.  Latte’s mother has a lot of trauma from her childhood, much more than I’d feel comfortable going into on this blog, even with all of the anonymity. I’m not sure of Latte’s demands are because she wants to see her mom as a person who is “well” and where the line of “illness” can be applied to her mother’s shortcomings. Most I’m just glad for my good health and that of my parents. 


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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