Blue is the Warmest Color Review

Okay, I’ve decided that this review should be spoiler-tastic, because frankly, it’s a French film about lesbians, most people who have seen either French films or films in which the main characters are lesbians know how this will likely play out.

1.) Because it’s a film about lesbians, the main character has a failed relationship with a boy.

2.) Because it’s a French film, we got to see them bone.

3.) Because it’s a film about lesbians, the main character finds her TRUE LOVE of the film through happenstance.

4.) Also because it’s a GLBT film, they go to a gay bar.

5.) But they get together — because it’s French, it doesn’t last.

6.) Because it’s a lesbian film, there’s a fight scene and a lot of tears.

7.) Because it’s a lesbian film, the main character was unfaithful with a dude (why is this?!)

8.) Because it’s a lesbian film, there’s a lot of processing (thankfully though tears and silence because it’s French)

9.) And it ends with the main character mostly unhappy, because it’s French. 

Basically the movie started as a cute, high school girl who is basically 18 falls in love with a college girl film, then time skips or something and her parents who were in many of the scenes before were never seen or mentioned again (this happens with her school friends too, and right after she has a fight with one and is still in the closet), and she’s living with the blue-haired girl. And there’s obvious problems, the blue-haired girl is a dick and her friends are pretentious even by French standards (except for the one likable character in the film, an aspiring actor of Arab descent who plays terrorists in American films).

More time passes, blue-haired girl is obviously cheating with her pregnant friend (at least it’s with a woman) and the main character is banging one of her coworkers (she’s working as a nursery school teacher now, did she go to and finish college? I don’t know!). And the blue-haired girl catches her in a set of lies, they fight, it gets physical but not brutal.

Main character moves somewhere (not sure if it’s back with her folks or what), and she meets back up with the blue-haired girl a few more times, they almost start finger-banging each other in a restaurant, and decide against getting back together, and then they see each other one last time with no drama and the movie ends. 

Anyway, add in sex scenes that vary from passable to kind of weird in it and that’s the movie. Also there was a lot of crying on the part of the main character. She seemed to be always in class, at work, having sex or crying. 


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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