Here’s the timeline that Latte thinks we should do:
Informational Class- Spring
Training – Summer
The home study will take 4-6 months.
So, we’re out at least a year, but Latte said she wants us to get a kid in a year or two. And this is assuming that she doesn’t get turned off to the idea of adopting out of foster care, which she might, if that happens, we will explore the idea of either domestic infant adoption or me carrying. Domestic infant adoption is honestly my last choice. White lesbians tend to have the highest wait times and there are ethical issues with some (but not all) domestic adoptions.
We’ve decided that we’re not going to tell Latte’s mom until the kid is here. She asked me about grandchildren when she first met me. I think it may have been the first thing she asked me. Latte tells me she’s had grand-baby rabies since Latte was 16. Latte’s mom is the only family she’s really in contact with (her father passed away when she young).
My family is more complicated. My dad isn’t someone I want watching my kid or around Latte. He feels that as a patriarch he’s entitled to a certain amount of respect and doesn’t respect others. I would feel very uncomfortable if he were watching my child if the child were above a certain age. My mom isn’t bad, but she’s a doormat about my dad. I want my mom to know my kid and my kid to know her, but I understand it will be very difficult to navigate.