Picking a donor is a lot like online dating, only worse as there’s no fun at all in the “getting to know you” phase. Also, I’m guessing a lot of the donors are liars. Or all freaks of nature. From super freaky families with no history of cancer or heart disease. I’m guessing they’re mostly liars. Additionally, when you find someone and decide they’re perfect you realize you didn’t put the filter on for the type of sample you want and that the donor is sold out except for IVF.

Also it’s expensive.

Here’s something fun: What I’ve found about cost/success rate, I put it in a spreadsheet and here’s the breakdown for costs, assuming I’m not infertile:

  ICI IUI IUI + clomid IUI + injectables
odds 10 15 20 20
sample cost $400 $450 $450 $450
med cost 0 $330 $500 $2000
max cost to get  $4000 $5200 $4750 $12250
time in months 10 6.666666667 5 5

About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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15 Responses to Ugh

  1. All we get to know in our country is ethnic origin, height, and color of eyes and hair. The sperm banks screen for hereditary diseases and do psych evaluations. In a way it’s easier, in a way you’re left wondering a bout a bunch of things…

    • DeCaf says:

      Oh, we get a ton of information, SAT, GPAs, personal essays, voice clips, way too much information. We even get to know the religion of his parents’ and grandparents. I know some of these things are useful (we want an extrovert because I’m an introvert), but other things, like his sign are pointless and kind of stupid.

  2. What bank are you looking at? Some doctors are choosy about which banks they will work with so it might be beneficial at this point to compare a few.

  3. Well that’s easy enough!

  4. butchjax says:

    I’m curious why you have medication listed for IUI? There’s no medication for a normal IUI. You just go when you’re ovulating and they squirt it up there. 😉

    And I know shopping for sperm is weird, but laugh about it. It’s truly absurd, but laughing makes it easier. For the things that don’t matter to you, ignore them. There are other people that will ignore what you are into, which is why they have so much info.

    • DeCaf says:

      For IUI, I put the medical cost as in not just medicine but doctor’s fees too. ICI we can do at home, and likely would just do at home, so no doctor’s bill.

      • butchjax says:

        Ooooooh lol That makes sense! 😀 For us the medical was around $150. So it’s not bad. The sperm really is where it adds up, as long as we don’t need medication.

        • DeCaf says:

          Clomid’s not that bad. Injectables are crazy expensive (and not much more effective, unless you don’t react well to clomid). I’m not sure we would do more than 1 or 2 cycles with injectables if it came to that. We are against doing IVF (and my insurance won’t cover it anyway).

          • butchjax says:

            Yeah, I’m also not going the IVF route. At that point I accept that it isn’t working and move on. I’m not going to break the bank to have a kid. I also don’t expect to do Clomid since I am ovulating, and that’s used to stimulate ovulation (I think). But there’s a drug that helps increase the chance of implantation after fertilization significantly. That’s the only thing I’m wondering about at this point. I’m a little sad to lose my august birthday, having this first attempt not work. But, it’s not my choice, it’s the kid’s so I just have to learn to accept whatever is happening. 🙂

            Oh, did they talk to you about the CMG status issue? Unless you know you have been exposed, you need to choose a negative donor so there’s no risk involved.

            If you’re curious, here’s the link to our donor. It’s got far less information, even in the long form, than you guys are dealing with.

            • DeCaf says:

              I don’t know of many women who want to be full term in August. As far as CMV, I’ve heard that the risk is negligible even if I’m negative, but it is something I will be asking the doctor about in January. 🙂

  5. Molly says:

    First, I just want to say that it’s exciting to see you exploring all of this… you guys have come a long way!!! I loved sperm shopping. It’s totally bizarre, but also the first step in making all of this seem real.

    • DeCaf says:

      Buying sperm is like the point of no return, it means you’re fairly committed to trying on that particular cycle as it almost too much money to just write off as a sunk cost. Depending on where you’re buying from. I’ve seen it from $300 up to +$500 depending on the site/donor. (The donor Latte and I liked the most was $500 but sold out.)

  6. theartist says:

    Picking a donor was a really strange yet exciting experience for us. We’ve actually become pretty fond of our donor since we picked him back in July or August. And how great that you live near the bank, we had to pay $200 for shipping each cycle.

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