Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I’m really happy that you are doing well, especially since it’s been about a year since we talked. You are my last surviving grandparent and I wish you continued good health. That being said, please don’t call me in the middle of the work day to tell me that I did something to hurt my dad and refuse to understand that I made the decision not to affect his feelings on the matter. Also, when I explain that the reasons for the name change have to do with wanting a child to continue on my mom’s family name don’t ask “how”… you don’t ask that of your heterosexual grandchildren and I’m not going to answer it. Don’t then say “but is it really the best situation for a child?” 
I could continue on but I don’t really want to spend any more emotional energy on this issue. I just don’t even know where to begin with her.

– Me


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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7 Responses to Dear Grandma

  1. Molly says:

    Oh man. Gotta love grandmas. My maternal grandma was super Catholic. I miss her every day, but I have no idea what she would have said about my marriage and our plans for family. I never even came out to her, and I’d been out for 10 years when she died. You have the right attitude. Try not to put too much weight on her words.

    • DeCaf says:

      Thanks, your comment helps. Sometimes I feel alone in the “having a non-accepting family” camp, a lot of my glbt friends are blessed with families who could care less about their orientation.

  2. B says:

    I love this post so much! I can totally relate, unfortunately.

  3. When I got married to D and changed my last name, my mom was upset by it. I said to her that if I had married a man, she wouldn’t have questioned the decision, and that shut her up right quick!

  4. X says:

    I’m sorry, both for the situation and that it is spilling into other parts of your life (at work? really?!)

    • DeCaf says:

      It’s okay, she’s left me alone. I didn’t say anything I regret saying and I got through the rest of my day as a functional human being, so I think I did as well as possible.

  5. I got the same kind of response from one of my brothers. I found if you say the word “vagina” enough the questions stop.

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