3 AM yet again

Last night I began to fall asleep on the sofa at like 7 or so, I think Latte got me up and into bed at 8:30. I woke up at 3 this morning, got up to pee and then went back to bed to angry cry for a couple hours. I ended up sleeping in until 8:30. I felt crappy but we ran errands to Target. Then I walked the dog and had a hard time not just breaking down in tears. Latte remarked that I’m “acting pregnant” earlier, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore…

I’m spotting, this cycles almost definitely out. I’ll probably begin to bled tomorrow. My temps are still pretty high (98.54 this AM), but it could be all the chaos and it may just crash down tomorrow. I may test tomorrow just for closure, but I’m not going to expect anything. I’m not very bummed out about this cycle. I’d like to be at a job for a year before giving birth, so it’s just as well. Had I known I was going to be out of work so soon, we wouldn’t have done any inseminations.

So, yeah, my period is on it’s way. My dog is driving me crazy. I feel super exhausted. And I feel utterly unworthy of getting a new job. I think the interview Friday was too hard for me “So, you’ve worked 3 places in the last 2 years?” ugh, I know my resume looks bad. I just want a job with okay benefits, and a sane boss. The more I think about it, the more I realize that my old boss was just a horrible boss. He basically only gave feedback one. Never again, even when I tried to steer the conversation in that direction to find out how sufficient my efforts were. I may be a brat, but I like a boss who can communicate how they think I’m doing before a performance review. 


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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9 Responses to 3 AM yet again

  1. julieann081 says:

    I’m so sorry that your former boss was such a jerk. 😦 Please be kind to yourself! ❤

  2. X says:

    I’m sorry that things are down right now. I hope this season of change and exhaustion passes quickly and that some of the silver linings (like knowing what you need in a boss – definitely not that!) lay the groundwork for good things to come.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Your former boss sounds like a spineless jerk. I’m sorry things are looking so bleak right now.

  4. Definitely be more kind to yourself. Your still not out if the woods just yet. I know it’s hard when the doubt sets in and your “PMSy” too. I hope it’s just pregnancy hormones screwing with you and you get that job.

  5. Molly says:

    I wish there was something I could do to make it all better for you! Hang in there, girl. I hope everything starts to fall into place for you ASAP.

    • DeCaf says:

      I think they will. The place whose offer I rejected is having me come in for paperwork and the like today. My wife thinks that it’s just a formality and that I will be working again in a couple weeks (which would be ideal).

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