So yesterday I called to see if I could get in for an IUI.

The nurses said no, that I should’ve known all these rules about using donor sperm that weren’t enforced last time we had an IUI there, and that nobody told me. It’s never been a secret with any of my care providers that I’m going to be using donor sperm, it’s only on my chart that I’m a lesbian who’s married to a woman. I could’ve potentially suggested that we thaw the sperm on the way to the lab, which seemed to be the issue, is that the lab didn’t want to have to thaw and wash the sample, but the lady who would need to approve it didn’t call me back for five hours, until the lab was closed, and couldn’t get me on the schedule for the next day.

But they did offer to let me schedule an insemination Sunday, but only if I drop the spermscile off today.

I wish I didn’t feel that they are both stupid and mean, but I do. I mean, if something needs to be scheduled by a certain time and someone calls trying to schedule it, but has an issue, don’t you make an effort to call them back before the deadline, or at least apologize if you don’t? And don’t blithely suggest we waste sperm by just inseminating another day without asking if I know how long it is between my surge and ovulation, if it would do any good.

I don’t know why but I’ve been super pissy and weepy lately. And just talking about this is getting to me. I want this whole ttc thing to be over, or at least to feel like someone (besides my wife and blogging buddies) is on my side in this.

So we’ve got a tank of Ginger Jesus sitting in our entry way. It can go to the lab where they will store it up to three months for the next time I ovulate (nobody told me the lab can do this, btw). Or we can try an at home insemination.

For chart nerds, here’s mine updated for today:


Also, here’s all my previous charts.


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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22 Responses to Update

  1. So sorry hunn it’s a messed up situation. Hopefully next round will go smoother. I’d suggest a sit down with an RE at that clinic to go over all the things you need to know when using their facilities.

    • DeCaf says:

      It’s an ob/gyn practice, but yes, I will call them on Monday and ask them to actually give me all the information I should have gotten for IUI with frozen donor sperm.

      • Oh that makes much more sense. OB officices do things very differently than fertility clinics. No excuse for not goving ypu all the details though.

        • DeCaf says:

          Yeah, I’m going to write a strongly worded letter. And include all of the documentation they gave me, which nowhere says that sample needs to be at the lab at any specific point before 6 am the day of.

  2. mamaetmaman says:

    My experience with fertility clinics is that many strive to run like a factory- stiff protocols, not allowing for personalization or mitigating circumstances. It’s because they’re a business. Im super frustrated for you because of their lack of compassion for your circumstances and the stress you’re feeling. If you truly believe that you’ve already ovulated, there’s no point in wasting another vial of GJ. Just have it stored at the clinic for next month. I’m sorry, it totally sucks, I know 😦 Hugs.

    • DeCaf says:

      It’s possible I’m ovulating today, my temperature was low. But I turned the sperm over to their lab and assuming I did ovulate, I’ll worry about it next month I guess.

      Inseminating at home was an idea we talked about, but it’s our last vial and we want to give it the best shot possible.

  3. B says:

    Have you considered another option for an RE, if available? Ours was very thorough and up front about everything we’d need to do and that’s the way I like it. Or like said above, have a sit-down with the head person. Best of luck!

    • DeCaf says:

      I think if something like this happens again, we will look into switching. I’m going to call the complaints number of the hospital on Monday.

  4. Curious B says:

    Can you not have the sperm shipped to the RE rather than home so that they can handle all of the thaw stuff as needed? That might make their end go faster in the future.
    I find that I cannot track anything at home because it makes me doubt the medical professionals too much. After years of monitoring, I quit and let them tell me what my body is doing. If you really feel you’ve ovulated, wait until next month. Those goods are too expensive to waste when you know it’s bad timing.

    • DeCaf says:

      I will do that in the future. I hadn’t, because I had no address to have it mailed to (also I knew they had shitty hours, so I wasn’t sure if that would delay it arriving), and someone’s always home here to accept packages.
      We’re not doing a monitored cycle yet. It’s a lot of money, and I’m not sure how much it would improve our odds. I may have to look into that though.

  5. Rachael says:

    You know, you would think places like this would be more sensitive to the timeliness that is required and the compassion that is necessary for things like this. I am outraged for you on the way this was handled, I can’t even begin to imagine why they could think this kind of treatment is acceptable. 😦 They suck. I’m with you, they are being stupid and mean! Shame on them.

  6. santosha1203 says:

    That’s awful that you had to miss your cycle because of the clinic. Met fertility clinics (at least in California) like to advertise to the gay community, so they should be careful about being inclusive and mindful of situations like this. My thoughts are going to Ginger Jesus!

  7. santosha1203 says:

    Oh right, it’s not a fertility clinic, but still…

  8. It really sucks you have to miss this cycle. That is totally inconsiderate of them to not even offer an apology for how shitty their service it. In our experience, the 2 places that we went to will totally work with you. They have late hours and weekends. Maybe you might wanna take a look at some other places if they are gonna be assholes about accommodating you and your ovulation schedule!

  9. julieann081 says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear this. I think they should have worked with you. I mean, come on. They couldn’t have called an on-call person or something? Sending love and hugs your way! ❤

  10. theartist says:

    I’m sorry, what a crappy situation. 😦

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