The Red Queen Reigns

So, it’s now shark week. I stupidly retested yesterday, since I was expecting my period that day and the spotting had been so darn light. It was still negative.

This morning my temp was below 98, and so I decided to just not take Vitex and hope that my period would show up today, and it did.

I emailed my doctor about the possibility of clomid? I am very nervous about this. He had told me that it could take up to a year to conceive, which with well-timed IUIs is false. You generally only have decent odds for the first three, and if you’re not pregnant by then, your odds diminish if you stay with the same protocol. I should get some peer reviewed research papers for him.

I decided that instead of telling him how wrong he is (that rarely wins anyone over), I decided to just play the “this is too expensive to do for that much longer” card and see if he’ll take pity on people who don’t have over a grand a month to throw around and throw me some drugs to help our odds.

This last negative has been hard on me. Latte seems to take all of them hard, but for the first three, I just bounced back. This one I’m starting to wonder if it’ll happen. We don’t have the funds for $3k cycles with monitoring or IVF.

I didn’t really think I’d have a hard time getting knocked up. I thought for sure within four cycles I’d get pregnant. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen.


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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26 Responses to The Red Queen Reigns

  1. Oh gee. Lo siento. It seems so wrong that we spend the first 10+ years of our fertile lives being told all the ways not to get pregnant, and then it’s so hard to get pregnant when we’re ready. The way my high school health teacher talked, we should have been able to get pregnant by willing it to be so…I hope your doc doesn’t give you too much crap about Clomid, it’s you’re body, after all!!

    • DeCaf says:

      Thanks. Yeah, high school sex ed leads people to think things are different, which during teenage years they can be, because things aren’t consistent yet, but not at age 32, lol. I kind of assumed that if I was under 35 it would be okay and happen quickly enough.

  2. That sucks. (But lol shark week) I hope you’re able to have some good convo with your doc and that he sees your point of view! Idk how much schooling these drs have but I’m sure plenty of us have read and reached a million more articles and looked into a million more resources than any dr I’ve seen yet!

  3. AndiePants says:

    Are you seeing an RE or an OB who does IUIs? My doc basically changed my protocol every time we didn’t get pregnant with an IUI! But the OB we saw at first was waaaay more lax about everything.
    Rainbow – it’s so funny you say that! I work on comprehensive sex ed (don’t teach it to students anymore, train other teachers to do so or work with admins to pass policy) and spend a LOT of time repeating the (oft true, for teenagers anyway) same things you probably heard – you can get pregnant at any time in your cycle, use condoms AND a hormonal birth control method, etc etc. Meanwhile, my own personal experience suggested that everything I was saying was total bullshit.

    • DeCaf says:

      He’s an ob/gyn. If he isn’t willing to help we may sick it up and change to an RE. Or just throw in the towel.

      • AndiePants says:

        Yeah – you might consider going to an RE. I think they ‘get’ it in a different way. OBs work with (mostly) fertile hetero couples, for whom the ‘takes a year’ line is true. Clomid is a good next step, so is an HCG trigger if you’re up for us (because it improves timing) My personal advice is fewer tries with more intervention, but that has a lot to do with my personal experience!

  4. The LadyKing says:

    Oh, dear. That last glimmer of hope before a negative test is just the absolute worst. Hoping you get good news from your doctor. After two unsuccessful IUIs with our first attempt for the first pregnancy, our OB asked to do a single monitored cycle if for no other reason than to make sure the general things were in working order. That’s how we realized we needed the Clomid for follicle growth.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  5. Pops says:

    Yea mr dr, help improve the odds here! Really hope he works with you otherwise he needs to be a goner. Good luck!

  6. I hear your frustrations and aknowledge them fully. I too started Clomid after three IUI’s cause of the odds and Iui success. However you have said a few times that the timing has not been great with your attempts, so I wonder if that may actually be the “issue” at hand. Clomid could help your odds but if timing is still off even Clomid won’t get you knocked up. I’m totally on your side and rooting for you. I hate seeing others in the start of TTC so upset and raked with worry.

    • DeCaf says:

      Here’s the thing, I am planning on addressing this in another blog post, but what I’ve been going off of to pinpoint ovulation (temping) isn’t accurate to the day, it’s got a range for how long between ovulation and temp rise (1-3 days). So while I’ve been worried about the timing previously, after research peer reviewed publish scientific articles, I understand how that basically I don’t know how the timing was for any of them.

      • I was going to say something to you about that before but didn’t want to aggravate the situation. I stopped using my temping for ovulation spotting a few months ago as I am being monitored and found that most months my Temps showed I Ovulate a day early or late vs. what ultrasound or blood tests showed very clearly. I actually find using OPKs is more accurate, at least for me. I’m not temping anymore, all it does is frustrate and confuse me. I do hope it has been just bad timing for you though and that this next cycle is the ticket.

  7. julieann081 says:

    I hope your doctor listens to your concerns. If not, perhaps it’s time for someone new? I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I’m sending plenty of hugs your way and wishing you all the very best! ❤

  8. avintageidea says:

    Man I feel you. I hate that this stuff isn’t covered by insurance and yes, my doctor tells me that after 3 tries your chances go down and he doesn’t recommend trying for more than 6 months before going down the IVF path just because of the cost alone. I’m there with you!

  9. kayrosey says:

    That sucks, I was rooting for you over here. I feel you on the crazy expensive thing, we just blew almost 4,000 trying for three months, with nothing to show for it. I think you should try an RE, and go for clomid and trigger shot. We are going to try again in about a year, and that’s what I plan on doing!

  10. Rachael says:

    Hugs to you. I know this is tough. I can’t imagine what you are going through – the money must be outrageous! I’m rooting for you over here and sending lots and lots of hugs.

  11. mamaetmaman says:

    That sucks. I’m sorry. This process is so damn frustrating. It makes me look at my junk, shouting “why aren’t you working properly!!?!” Good luck in whatever route you take. You and I have been on here, baby less for far too long now.

  12. Letrozol (femara) was our wonder drug. Chlomid is good. Just know it can take a couple of cycles for success.

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