Since my last post, a few things were up in the air.  I had contacted my doctor, we were considering a new donor.

Here’s how everything shook out:

My doctor replied with a mildly paternalistic tone, which pissed me off a bit. But he will do a progesterone test and an HSG and wants us to try twice more before upping things. I am fine with doing those tests and trying once more. I replied to him and will wait to see what happens.

Update: I tried to call and schedule an HSG. I left two voicemails, got one callback (the sadly I accidentally sent to voicemail because I was driving and so rarely get phone calls, I swiped it the wrong way since I couldn’t look (see driving). The lady told me to call back with my expected first menstrual day for my periods for January, February, and March and they’d see when they could schedule it. Is it normal to have to wait almost four months to get in for that test?

Now I’m wondering if we should go on break until after we can do that test, just to make sure. The other option is just trying again and doing the progesterone test and hoping the third IUI is a charm. Although, we can do the progesterone test without using up a vial of sperm.

Another option is saying bye to the cheap option and going to the fertility place two ladies making babies go to. The plus side is, I haven’t heard anything bad about it, the bad side is, it may get more expensive than we want quickly. But so far bargain basement hasn’t gotten me knocked up.

So the options I see are:

  • Don’t do additional testing, if I’m not pregnant by January, move on.
  • Do the progesterone test, try to get for an HSG in January, if that’s good, try again.
  • Wait to try again to get in for an HSG, if that’s good, go for it!
  • Switch where we go from the local hospital to the fertility clinic.

I have to say, an HSG showing blocked tubes is something that would cause me to stop trying, as it would mean IVF, and I’m not willing to do IVF.

This isn’t going to be an easy decision to make.

About the donor. Latte’s kind of burnt out about the whole TTC thing. She’s been such a good sport for someone who has no interest in pregnancy and who used to joke about never wanting to live with a pregnant woman. I couldn’t ask her for more.

Anyway so I looked at a few donors. We’ve been limiting ourselves to certain banks for various reasons.

So I looked, my basic first criteria is that the donor must have some sort of artistic talent (pref. musical but art and painting are also okay– that’s hopefully hereditary).

After that, it’s mostly looking for things that we don’t like to see if they should be ruled out.

Our list of things we don’t like is long and probably a little prejudice. We’d rather not have dark eyes, as Latte likes my eyes and I got them from my beloved grandpa and there’s a better chance I pass them on if we have a fair-eyed donor.

I’m CMV Negative, so there’s that.

We’d prefer a donor who is either brand new or has a reported pregnancy, for the obvious reasons, but it’s not on the kill list of bad.

We’d prefer the donor not be too similar to me or different than Latte, so no Engineers, techies, business majors, etc.

Basically, the few souls who pass those criteria are the ones we’ve considered.

There were two we looked at.

Actor, who was an actor and wanted to do stage-stuff professionally. Unfortunately he didn’t seem musically gifted and was a business major. We looked at his baby pictures. And I’m a horribly superficial person. Couldn’t look past that plus the business degree. Not super-artistic except for the acting, which isn’t in Latte’s wheelhouse. So, we passed.

Then there was Mr. Almost Right, whose name is the last thing I’ll tell you about him.

He’s fathered twins (which Latte likes), his goal is to be a music history teacher (which is Latte’s dream job in another life), he’s played instruments for many, many years. His childhood photos are cute.

We were getting ready to think about ordering this guy, then we looked at his silhouette.  I’m not the best looking person ever, but he had something seriously weird with his chin/neck situation. It wasn’t that he was overweight either. Uggo.

I feel bad, now that I look back, it sounds like I’m picking donors based only on looks, I’m not. They’re not going to get a ton of looking-good genes from me, and so I’d like the donor to be at least as comparatively good looking as my wife.

So we ordered Ginger Jesus’s little-kid/baby pictures. We still like him best. Also, he had eyebrows that looked like they would grow together as he got older, but I had a unibrow before I learned to do my eyebrows, so if I ever get knocked up, we’ll just have to deal with the awkward childhood unibrow, but that’s not too bad, is it?

We ordered two vials of IUI prepped Ginger Jesus this time.


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
This entry was posted in TTC and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to updates

  1. kayrosey says:

    Hey, we went mostly on looks for our donor! Health history was super important, and so was gpa, but a lot of our decision was on looks. 🙂

  2. Lindsay says:

    I had a unibrow pre-plucking, too, and my sweet girl’s eyebrows are super bushy already. I love her all the same. Superficial things aren’t a big deal! BUT it’s not shallow to want someone who is good looking. I’m glad you feel good about GJ and it sounds like his is the man juice for you.

  3. pepibebe says:

    Here in NZ unless you use a known donor you have no idea what they look like except for seeing the answers to the standard questions of: Height, build, hair colour, hair type, eye colour. So once we went down the anonymous donor path we had to take a leap of faith and choose on personality only. The good thing is that you get an 8-ish page profile of questions they have answered. The downside is that it’s only their own perspective – so you hope they are objective and honest about themselves! Do you get the same kind of level of detail in the profiles? Ours had questions such as: how would you describe your personality (then some examples given), did you enjoy school & what subjects, what levels, how would you describe how you deal with conflict, how would your friends and family describe you, left or right handed, hobbies and skills, who influenced you in your life & how etc.

    • DeCaf says:

      We went with a donor for NW Cryobank https://www.nwcryobank.com/ It’s not a lot of information, it’s certainly not as much as you’d get by meeting them, but you get a family health history and some other important stuff. In some ways I’d like it if we had more information, in other ways, it’s a huge decision, and more information doesn’t always help (I saw a bank that listed everyone’s astrological signs and those of their family members). Generally if you want an indepth, detailed profile you’d have to pay for that as an extra. We weren’t opposed to doing that, just we didn’t have a close tie between two, we’ve only had one we couldn’t rule out based on free criteria.
      If you think about it, it’s almost an overwhelming decision- whose DNA do you use to help create your child.

      • Curious B says:

        We use NW too! I didn’t have to wait months for hsg, just until my next coming cycle. I wonder if they are a very busy xray facility place and have a long wait. Good luck!

  4. mamaetmaman says:

    I love how it came full circle and back to GJ! We picked based on likeness to DW, and then from our shortlist, based on looks.
    I believe there is some kind of chemistry involved that links to attractiveness and baby making compatibility too.

  5. julieann081 says:

    It sounds like you have some decisions to make. I like that you picked Ginger Jesus again. Wishing you both all the best!

  6. lezbemoms says:

    If I’m remembering right I think we used NW too back when we were ordering sperm.

    Curious as to why you’re considering switching donors?

    • DeCaf says:

      They were out of the one we had used before, we weren’t sure they were going to release more in time for this cycle, but they did. Also, my wife was beginning to question his divinity.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    I sported a unibrow. Luckily I had a sister who’s ten yeas older and was grooming it away by the time I was about six! As far as donors, M was appallingly shallow. she actually did a “donor consult” with our bank (we used CLI) and gave the woman our top picks and flat out said: who’s the best looking? Best body? Etc.? 7 IUIs, one miscarriage, and one IVF cycle we’re still with him. Good luck with your decisions. And I’m smiling that you’re still with GJ.

  8. Rachel says:

    I have to admit, looks played a major role when I was picking my donor. I know what it’s like to be teased and bullied as a kid for a physical feature that can’t be changed. I also know that it still affects me as an adult. Anything I can do to make sure my child doesn’t have to go through that kind of pain, including selecting a donor based off of looks, is something I am willing to do unapologetically. We all have different things that are important to each of us…

  9. I’m weirdly glad you re-picked Ginger Jesus again as well. I think it’s perfectly logical to want a good-looker – society is predisposed towards people who look good. Also the chin/neck thing could be fixable, depending on its cause. My family has a predisposition towards a severe underbite which doesn’t look good at all (basically a recessed chin), but thankfully orthodontics can do a lot with that these days.

  10. Rachael says:

    Man, I had a unibrow to and I was super proud of it as a kid! LOL. As for donors and their looks, I think its a good thing to keep the looks in the picking. We didn’t have the luxury of that, but really – it didn’t matter much, this kid looks just like me. Haha. Good luck with ginger jesus this time!

  11. I think everyone looks at those things. We have a choice so why not! It’s not shallow at all.We have to deal with not being able to get impregnated or impregant the one we love, so why not AT LEAST get to choose who does! Let the sexiness ensue!

  12. Molly says:

    Sounds like this clinic must be exceptionally busy. Once my RE decided she wanted me to have the HSG, it was scheduled for that same cycle. Donor-wise, looks played a huge role in our decision, too. I second what NonBellyMama said! And I’m glad Ginger Jesus is still on the table!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s