So this happened

So we decided to go to an information session for foster-adoption. It was free and took place after work, so we went.

Latte spent the first half of it sneaking out to go puke in the bathroom. The poor dear was so carsick. I forgot I had Dramamine in my purse, but when I remembered it, I gave her some, and she was able to sit through the rest of the information session.

I was kind of surprised that there were two other lesbian couple (one unfortunately featuring a couple with the same first name), both notably older than us. There were four or so straight couples, half older, half about our age.

It was a lot of information, it was very good. The social worker struck what I felt was a decent balance between communicating “this isn’t for wimps and will require more work than infant adoption” and selling how the children all deserve families.

Afterwords, we talked. Because we’re not willing to do IVF, it’s possible that we may give up on TTC plan. If so, we’ll do the “love them and let them go” foster-to-adopt option in a couple years (you get foster care placements that the workers think may end with TPR, but no guarantees), and probably end up temporarily hosting a ton of infants until we get one that’s adoptable.

Also, does anybody else really hate the term furbabies? I loath it.


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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25 Responses to So this happened

  1. santosha1203 says:

    Yes I just say my cats, not fur babies. I’m glad you got some information and hope it helps you two make a decision that’s right for you.

    • DeCaf says:

      Thanks. I think it gave Latte more information than it gave me. I’m kind of a blog-reading junkie, so I’d read about a few families experiences with foster care.

  2. Elizabeth says:

    We’re in the final stages of the foster approval process. Right now we’re slated to foster a M to F teen. God luck with the application/approval process if that’s your next step. 🙂

    • DeCaf says:

      That’s great! We’re going to hold off on the application process for now (we’d need to let a roommate go to free a bedroom and want to wait until I get promoted in the next couple years to do that).

  3. Attending the seminar is such a huge step and so exciting (not the puking part, just the seminar part). Our dog shed’s constantly and our house is covered in her fur so I refer to her as furball frequently, but not our furchild.

    • DeCaf says:

      Randomly puking is exciting, but not in a good way, lol. Between a medium-sized dog and two cats, I’ve given up on the idea of my home not having random clumps of fur in corners. 🙂

  4. Caitlin says:

    Hi there, I can’t remember where you are, but if you are in Orange County or San Diego County, check out Angels Foster Family Network. We considered that option, but are giving the TTC gig a chance first!

  5. Lindsay says:

    I also hate the term “furbaby” and I ALSO loathe people comparing having a pet to having a child.

    • DeCaf says:

      I know that some people making pet ownership look very to having a small child, what with doggy strollers, day care, and the like. It honestly boggles my mind, dogs have different needs than kids.

  6. Becca says:

    I could never refer to my dog as a fur baby with a straight face. I have so much respect and admiration for families who foster and adopt. I’ve had the chance to work with so many amazing children and foster families when I was a children’s therapist. The progress a child makes once s/he is in a stable, loving environment is unbelievable. Tough times for sure, but if you surround yourself with support, it can be handled.

  7. Curious B says:

    We have been to several of these sessions. It’s really informative and a great way to offer something to children who need stability.

    I sometimes get irritated by the furbaby because it reminds my of the word ferby. Lol.

  8. That’s exciting that you went to the seminar, hopefully when you’re ready it’ll go smoothly for you 🙂 are there follow up ones you can go to as well (sorry if you mentioned and I wasn’t paying attention)
    I also loathe the term fur baby/fur kid, idk why, just ew

  9. kayrosey says:

    Cool! I’ve always wanted to foster/adopt a kid or two, but my wife is super duper against it. I’ll probably be able to wear her down in some years, I’m a great nagger 😉
    I’m with you on the fur baby term, it’s silly.

    • DeCaf says:

      I don’t know what her objections are, but sometimes the unknown is more scary than the reality. Maybe getting her to go to a couple information sessions with you might help.

      • kayrosey says:

        She was a therapist for a handful of years, and saw quite a few foster kids and families aling the way, it turned her off about the whole deal. She also says she would have a really hard time giving a kid back to it’s parents, especially when we know they most likely still suck.

  10. We love being foster parents. It has changged our life completely. It has it’s ups and downs, but mostlty ups. It’s hard to let go of these kids that you fall in love with, but one of the things that they asked us when we atarted fostering and took the course was, “How many times can you fall in love?!” A ton, that’s how many…best of luck with it. Trust me, you have to be super strong for it, but it’s an amazing experience. If it’s not to personal, why not IVF?

    • DeCaf says:

      It’s a lot of money, insurance won’t cover it, and would be really hard on me professionally with all the time off it would require. Basically it’s further than my wife and I want to go to have a child that shares my DNA. I have nothing but respect for women who go that route, but it’s not for us.

      • Makes sense. Just in case you ever change your mind, and that need get s a little stronger than you anticipated it to, there are plenty of grants available throughout the country. Some stuff you have to pay up front, but you get reimbursed for it. And lots of stuff is fully covered…just in case you ever want to look into it…

  11. Sounds like a great event. I use the term fur babies sometimes, but mostly just say “the dogs”

  12. Rachael says:

    This is a nice little development in your journey. I’m sure its not how you intended to build your family, but life takes funny little twists don’t they!

  13. Lauren says:

    Also really, really loathe the term furbabies. Furbaby. Four legged child. etc etc etc. Argh.

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