So I’m still alive. I’m busy at my job which is great, I’m trying to keep busy at home. I’m obsessively reading old comics I like and blogs. It’s good as long as I don’t think too much about how I’m doing.

Yesterday I ran with my puppy for the first time since November. I’m going to be sore tomorrow, even though we only did about a mile and a quarter (she was pulling way too much and I wanted a short run). I feel a bit sore from it but look forward to running again tomorrow (it was cold today and I feel like being lazy).

I’m going to call the RE to get her to look at my polyp thing, hopefully to get it removed. I know that it’s probably nothing but my mom did have uterine cancer (stage 1) and needed a hysterectomy.

My mom also had trouble conceiving. It wasn’t until she had what they told her was a miscarriage (she had a month long period), and they did a D&C and pretty much boom, I’m here.

Part of me hopes the doctor finds something fixable to explain why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. Seven cycles with only one test with two lines that was probably an evap line is really depressing. Part of me thinks that if we won the lottery and wanted to continue TTC, IVF would be the next step. I really regret how long it took us to get to an RE.

I may start the 30 day shred tomorrow after my jog too, just because I love hating Jillian Michaels.


About DeCaf

Just a code monkey.
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18 Responses to Swimming

  1. Just keep swimming 🙂

  2. mamaetmaman says:

    I hope keeping busy and being active continues to help you get through this. I think taking care of the polyp is a good idea. I imagine if things like IUD’s work by creating an irritation on the uterine lining and prevents implantation, then perhaps it’s not too unreasonable to think that taking care of abnormal uterine anomalies could help.

    • DeCaf says:

      Well, I know they didn’t see any polyps at the first clomid IUI, it was a new thing, probably caused by the clomid. And based on it’s location, it’s not really where an embryo would likely implant and not in a place that seems to interfere too much (not by the entrance to the tubes).

  3. I hope good things come out of this!

  4. Becca says:

    Just keep swimming was my mantra too. Sometimes that’s all you can do.

  5. butchjax says:

    Running sounds great. Good luck with the RE.

  6. Rachael says:

    Man, 30 day shred was a killer. I sweat buckets after every single time I do it. And I cuss a lot. Kim laughs at me, because I cuss Jillian sooo much when I do that workout. LOL

  7. Keeping busy and taking it day by day. Sometimes that’s all you can really do, and that is enough. Remember to celebrate the small victories, too. Like running. ❤

    • Also idk if you want to ask your RE about the thick lining thing or not? Especially since you mentioned your mom having a D&C and that clearing things up.

      • DeCaf says:

        I might, it might not be meaningful (she may have had a very early missed miscarriage), but my mom and I have a lot in common menstrual-wise (began at the same age, period lasts the same number of days, etc).

  8. Molly says:

    I’m glad you’re keeping busy. Hope the RE is helpful!

  9. B says:

    Jillian is the best. The shred is awesome! Don’t regret what you can’t change in the past (like not going to the RE sooner). Eventually your baby will find it’s way to you guys. Definitely look into the D&C thing. Same thing happened to our cousin and she conceived really soon after. Best of luck in keeping busy and getting your ass kicked by Jillian. 🙂

  10. It’s not a good feeling to know that you might miss out on your biggest dream. I really hope everything works out for you. You’ve worked hard for this. It’s not fair. But I know how you feel now. I need to start thinking of something else as well. I never realized before, but people talk about babies a lot. It’s painful when you don’t know what to answer people every time they tell you that you should have a baby…

    • DeCaf says:

      I wouldn’t say it’s my biggest dream. My biggest dream is to have a good job and marriage. I see having a child as a goal more than my biggest dream. If it doesn’t happen I’ll find a different kind of happiness. 🙂

  11. I hope that the polyp is nothing, but if it is, I hope they take care of it as quickly as possible. Glad your keeping busy…that puppy should help! Good luck with the RE..maybe you’ll get some answers to some of your questions…

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